This has been of season of many losses for people around
me. Several friends have lost loved ones
in the past few weeks. As I reflect on
this I am reminded of a metaphor I have shared many times. If you are dealing with loss and grief, I pray that this will bring you some clarity and peace.
I don’t think we are ever truly prepared for the death of a
loved one. We may know that it is coming
and we may think it is time and we are prepared, but that moment of inescapable
loss and the finality of losing always strikes us with surprise. If it was not expected, the shock is even greater.
It is like standing at the beach with your back to the
water. Suddenly a rogue wave rises up behind you and crashes down over your
head. You are tossed, taken by surprise, and disoriented. For a moment it feels
like your feet are up and your head is down, but you are not quite sure which
way is which. You cough and struggle for breath and finally get your feet on
the ground to stand up and gasp for air.
Standing you turn to face the waves so as not to be
surprised again. Then you realize that even though you may see them coming,
those waves are not going to stop any time soon.
Still it is comforting to know that the biggest one already hit you and
you survived. You go through the days and weeks ahead and little things trigger
memories and unleash more waves of grief or sadness, but they seem to be
getting, at least somewhat, more manageable.
In the months ahead, you begin to realize that these waves
come because of the gift of life and love that you have shared with the ones
who are now gone. In time these waves become more like a welcome friend than a
cold intruder. They remind you of how
much you are loved and how blessed you were to have this person in your life.
Now these waves will remind you to love and share in return with others, making
the memories of your loved one a legacy of giving as they gave to you.
Loss is never easy. It takes our breath away, but it also
leads us to remember that life is worth living well. It jolts us back to what
is true and most important. It calls us to never forget that each day is a gift
to be lived and filled with memories that are blessed by the legacy of
those who have gone before us and passed
on to those we know and love today.
In time we learn to embrace the waves and be thankful to God
for the lives and memories that make the waves possible in the first place.
