Sit down Santa.

I walked into the hardware store the other day and got mad at Santa.  It was barely two days  after Halloween. There was still a disgusting, ghoulish figure standing at the front of the store with a discount price tag hanging around his neck.  The tag just hung there, its bright orange color clashing with his hideous, reddish eyes.  He stood there life-sized and lifeless - ugly and motionless because he was unplugged -  hoping for a closet he could call home until next Halloween.  At the same time, toward the back of the store, but still in ear-shot, was a 6 foot tall plastic Santa belching out "Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!"  That stupid Santa made me mad.

It was then that I realized  that I have been having some very sentimantal feelings lately.  Nothing really special - nothing has specifically brought them on, except that I am acutely aware of the fact that two of the most important people in my life no longer live in my house.  With two of my three kids off to college, I am a bit more reflective than perhaps I had time to be before.  It's not just that I miss having my boys around - although I do, believe me some days I really do - for the first time in my married life, I am outnumbered by women in my household...but that is another story...!

Recently I have found myself being elated at unexpected times.  These fits of reflection sneak up and sweep over me during mundane moments of the day.  Here is an example; I got all excited a few days before Halloween at the thought of kids in costume coning to gather candy from their neighbors. Without warning this thought prompted me to dance a little jig in the hall when no one was looking  This is even more strange since we rarely have anyone come to our door on Halloween.  There are no street lights or sidewalks on our street, so the trick or treat traffic seems to barely exist..  This year we had exactly 7 trick-or-treaters and five of them were teens in no costume whatsoever. Still, just the thought of this frivolous little tradition sent me headlong into an involuntary moment of glee.

I have the same thing happening repeatedly as I look toward Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Sometimes I just jump in the car or sit down to lunch or walk across my office and catch the unmistakeable warmth of a genuine smile well up from within me. It is a attached to a kid-like excitement over what is coming through the holidays.  It's not the Turkey, or the Christmas presents or even the great days of football ahead.  I don't really know what it is - but I like it.

When I really put my mind to it, I believe it is the overflow of the depth of blessing I have felt from these holiday traditions and the family and memories that have made them so good my entire life.  It is an emotion that can only be best described as gratitude. I get unexpectedly giddy when the thought of the holidays sneaks up from deep within me. 

For the first eighteen years of my life, I think the best of these days centered around Thanksgiving. It was THE time when my extended family would come together. It meant days on end, filled with cooking and baking and family packing into small spaces.  It meant long nights of card games and laughter. It came with pie and cookies and football games and more general feelings of security, comfort and love than I remember finding at any other time of the year.  These are the things that first taught me to be thankful.  They were deep and more profound than I could ever have known.   They sustain me to this day, making me grateful and giddy at the thought of these holidays returning. 

I think that is why that plastic Santa made me angry.  It 's not that he is really evil.  It is more that his early arrival - the day after Halloween, flushed across me in a way that said, "Thanksgiving just doesn't matter." It's not even Turkey Day that I am thinking of. It is the deep, important sentiment of giving thanks.  When Santa shows up the day after Halloween to sell glitzy lights and electronic reindeer, I get the sense that there is nothing to pause and be grateful for except shallow, shiny stuff.

I'd like to pass a law that says Santa cannot show his face until November 30th,  but I know this kind of law would never work. Retailers are in the business of making money and Christmas is big business. I guess in some way that doesn't really hack me either - I just wish that Santa would sit down and be quiet until after Thanksgiving.  At least this way  we could have the chance to reflect on how grateful we should be before we are inundated with commercial messages, geared to tell us how much we don't have.  That would be nice. 

So, yeah, I think I am serious.  Really Santa, please just sit down and shut up.  
We'll see you in December. And who knows, maybe then we can even have a little talk about the real meaning of sentimental things like love, peace and gratefulness...if you ever stop ho-ho-ing long enough to listen..